Meet the Bowsers: Transgender Parents Raising 2 Sons
— -- Meet the Bowser family. Bianca and Nick Bowser live with their sons Kai, 3, and Pax, 17 months, in Louisville, Kentucky, where no one knows their family secret, at least, until now.
“We fit … the basic definition of what a transgender person is,” Nick Bowser told ABC News’ “20/20.”
“But we are man and woman,” Bianca Bowser told “20/20.”
“That is the difference, so our children do not see us as transgender people,” Nick Bowser, 27, said. “We are mommy and daddy.”
Bianca Bowser, 32, grew up as a boy named Jason, and Nick was born as a girl named Nicole. They work in Louisville at the nightclub “Play,” where Nick is the manager and Bianca is a performer. Before they met, the two grew up in Georgia.
“I guess I was about five years old. I remember sneaking into mom’s closet when she was off at work and putting on a pair of heels,” Bianca Bowser said. “I’ve always felt more liberated during those moments.”
For Nick, he said he always wanted to be a boy. “I looked at boys. I saw, you know, boys with their shirts off, and I was like, ‘That’s what I want to look like.’”
As teenagers, the two both felt trapped in their bodies and faced cruel taunts. Each came out as gay, but slowly realized that something still wasn’t right.
“It wasn’t until I got a little bit older that [I realized] I wasn’t a lesbian, and not all lesbians think how I think,” Nick Bowser said. “Basically, my brain is telling me I want to be a man.”
Said Bianca Bowser: “Twenty is when I came to terms with being transgender, starting to live my life as a woman, applying the makeup, wearing women’s clothing.”
Even with the self-discovery, neither expected to ever find a life mate. Both were taking hormones and considering expensive surgeries.
“I had planned on the gender reassignment surgery, and I was starting to save up my money for it,” Bianca Bowser said. “I had already made my plans, went through all my final therapy sessions, and then I met Nick.”
The two met at a local bar, and Nick Bowser said he quickly fell in love with Bianca Bowser. They dated, and in 2010, the couple married in a small ceremony in Georgia.
Because they both had their original sex organs, they started to address what every married couple does: having children.
After reviewing their options, the two decided to conceive children naturally with each other. Nick Bowser delivered both sons by C-section.
“It was more difficult for him than it was for me,” Bianca Bowser said.
Nick Bowser said, “The almost 20 months total of my life [when they had both kids] was probably the darkest time in my entire life. My brain was telling me that I was one person.
“My body looks like a completely different person. It was a daily struggle between mind and body. I didn’t want to leave the house.”
The parents know that there are even more difficult hurdles ahead, especially when they have to explain to their children who mommy and daddy are.
Nick and Bianca Bowser understand that their sons will have questions, but are prepared to talk Kai and Pax gradually in ways they can understand.
“I mean, that’s when we tell them sometimes men have babies, and sometimes mommies can’t have babies,” Nick Bowser said. “We’re telling them the truth, and I think that’s the most important thing, and in a way that they can understand.”
After Pax was born, Nick Bowser fulfilled his dream of having his breasts removed. As for Bianca Bowser’s gender re-assignment surgery, cost is still an issue.
“Now that we have our children, their well-being, their lives, that’s what’s important,” Bianca Bowser said. “If it comes around to where I am able to, then that would be great, but it’s no longer about me. It’s about our family.”
Added Nick Bowser: “We’re different, but we’re the same type of family everybody else is.”
