Kayla Mueller: American ISIS Captive Wrote Letter to Family Before Her Death
— -- A letter from the female American ISIS captive Kayla Mueller was released by her family today after the White House confirmed her death.
Mueller's family received the letter in the spring of 2014 while the Arizona native was still in captivity.
It is unclear how the family received the handwritten note from their daughter, but she tells how "just the thought of you all sends me into a fit of tears."
In the emotional letter, she does not say anything negative about her captors, writing that she is "completely unharmed + healthy (put on weight in fact); I have been treated w/ the utmost respect + kindness."
Instead, she puts the brunt of her emotional turmoil on herself.
"If you could say I have 'suffered' at all throughout this whole experience it is only in knowing how much suffering I have put you all through," she wrote.
ISIS has reported that Mueller was killed as a result of a Jordanian airstrike, though that has not been verified by American or international intelligence forces. The Jordanian airstrikes came after the terror group released a highly-stylized video showing a captive Jordanian pilot being set on fire and burned to death.
Mueller was taken captive on Aug. 4, 2013 -- just days before her 25th birthday -- after leaving a Spanish Doctors Without Borders hospital in Aleppo, Syria, according to information provided by a family spokesperson.
According to the letter, she relied on memories of family camping trips and her faith to help her during her captivity, writing that "by God + by your prayers I have felt tenderly cradled in freefall."
"None of us could have known it would be this long but know I am also fighting from my side in the ways I am able + I have a lot of fight left inside of me. I am not breaking down + I will not give in no matter how long it takes," she wrote.
She repeated that her family should not be responsible for negotiating for her release, saying it "should never have become your burden."
"None of us could have known it would be this long but know I am also fighting from my side in the ways I am able + I have a lot of fight left inside of me. I am not breaking down + I will not give in no matter how long it takes," she wrote.
Below is a full transcript of the letter:
Everyone,
If you are receiving this letter it means I am still detained but my cell mates (starting from 11/2/2014) have been released. I have asked them to contact you + send you this letter. It’s hard to know what to say.
Please know that I am in a safe location, completely unharmed + healthy(put on weight in fact); I have been treated w/ the utmost respect + kindness. I wanted to write you all a well thought out letter (but I didn’t know if my cellmates would be leaving in the coming days or the coming months restricting my time but primarily) I could only but write the letter a paragraph at a time, just the thought of you all sends me into a fit of tears.
If you could say I have “suffered” at all throughout this whole experience it is only in knowing how much suffering I have put you all through; I will never ask you to forgive me as I do not deserve forgiveness. I remember mom always telling me that all in all in the end the only one you really have is God. I have come to a place in experience where, in every sense of the word, I have surrendered myself to our creator b/c literally there was no else….+ by God + by your prayers I have felt tenderly cradled in freefall.
I have been shown in darkness, light + have learned that even in prison, one can be free. I am grateful. I have come to see that there is good in every situation, sometimes we just have to look for it. I pray each each day that if nothing else, you have felt a certain closeness + surrender to God as well + have formed a bond of love + support amongst one another…
I miss you all as if it has been a decade of forced separation. I have had many a long hour to think, to think of all the things I will do w/ Lex, our first family camping trip, the first meeting @ the airport.I have had many hours to think how only in your absence have I finally @ 25 years old come to realize your place in my life.
The gift that is each one of you + the person I could + could not be if you were not a part of my life, my family, my support. I DO NOT want the negotiations for my release to be your duty, if there is any other option take it, even if it takes more time. This should never have become your burden. I have asked these women to support you; please seek their advice. If you have not done so already, [REDACTED] can contact [REDACTED] who may have a certain level of experience with these people.
None of us could have known it would be this long but know I am also fighting from my side in the ways I am able + I have a lot of fight left inside of me. I am not breaking down + I will not give in no matter how long it takes.
I wrote a song some months ago that says, “The part of me that pains the most also gets me out of bed, w/out your hope there would be nothing left…” aka - The thought of your pain is the source of my own, simultaneously the hope of our reunion is the source of my strength. Please be patient, give your pain to God. I know you would want me to remain strong. That is exactly what I am doing. Do not fear for me, continue to pray as will I + by God’s will we will be together soon.
All my everything,Kayla
