Dear 'GMA' Advice Guru: Amy Kean
December 8, 2010 -- Amy Kean from New York, NY, is a finalist in the Dear GMA Advice Guru Contest. Read her response to a viewer-submitted question below!
Question from Shon in Chicago, Ill.: "I am a busy wife and mom of 5. I am constantly on the go with kids, work, activities, socials...you get my drift. I love my busy and energetic life! So it is very difficult to take "me time" without feeling guilty or getting "How could you?" looks from those in my house. What is the best way (with ideas please) to take short "me time" moments during the week so that I get enough de-stressing so I don't have to run away to Barbados (or the bathroom or my mama's house) for a week just to de-compress?"
Amy's Answer:
FIVE KIDS??!! Those two words together really make me need a nap. It's funny; before I had a baby last year, I used to be the kind of feminist know-it-all who regularly spouted off statements like, "When I become a mother, I won't let my lifestyle change one bit—why should I?—my baby's just going to have to adapt to me, not the other way around." HA! Joke's on me! In fact, as I'm typing this, my 15-month-old son is sitting next to me, playing his favorite late night game: pound on Mommy's keyboard and scream like a lunatic. He's firmly in charge now, no question.
So I get it. (OK, fine, one kid certainly isn't five. But I have an imagination.) And you're 100% right: you definitely need some "me time" if your goal is to be a sane, healthy wife and mother.
STEP ONE: Reject all guilt. I realize it's nearly impossible—especially for women—but try it anyway. See how it feels. (Men are masters at rejecting guilt; they'll happily stare at the TV while their exhausted wives vacuum around them.)
And by the way, why on earth should you feel guilty for needing time to "de-stress" anyway? Just remind yourself, and others, that precious time away from your demanding life is beneficial to your parental performance. You certainly can't be a relaxed, focused mother if you're a stressed-out, resentful mess. So in reality, regular "me time" away from your brood, is actually a loving gift to them. Trust me.