Review: 'Fast X' proves you really can have too much of a good thing
In defiance of gravity, logic and critical bashing, "Fast X" hits theaters dumber and more delicious than ever. But the thrill dissolves fast in the face of supercharged stupidity, paycheck acting and preposterous stunts. After 10 films in 22 years and a $6 billion box-office jackpot, "Fast X" slows down to a crawl as the runt of the "The Fast and the Furious" litter.
It had to happen, excitement giving way to age-related desperation. "Fast Five," still the bracing best of the bunch, put a tiger in the series tank by switching gears from illegal street racing in Los Angeles to a "Mission Impossible" ripoff where cars became peripheral to the global action.
In "Fast X," the drain of redundancy kicks in as king of the road Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) again takes the wheel. His extended family and crew is headed by Dom's wife Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) and their son Little Brian (Leo Abelo Perry) named after Brian O'Connor, the undercover cop and Dom bestie played by Paul Walker, who died in a car crash in 2013.
The plot? I couldn't find any, except it has something to do with an incident in "Fast Five," when Dom and Brian killed drug lord Hernan Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida) in Rio de Janeiro, leaving his son Dante vowing to break Dom's family piece by piece. Ouch!
Since we never head of Dante in the previous films, it's a welcome if wacky surprise to see him turn up in the screen-filling, scene-stealing presence of Jason Momoa ("Aquaman") who turns his desire to see Dom suffer into a life-of-the-party tour de force.
Yeah, it makes no sense but Momoa revs up the movie with a full tank of deranged comic energy. He will also catch hell for indulging in flamboyant queer stereotypes. "I'm Dante, enchanté," he announces, claiming to "adore" surprises and dressed to wow in glitter shirts with rings and painted nails. Offensive or intentional sendup? You be the judge.
Diesel can't hold his own against the mountain of Momoa so he compensates by taking his stunts to a surreal limit whether he's using his wheels to drive down the wall of a dam or knock a bomb off course. That's way better than hearing him make speeches: "Without honor, you got no family. Without family, you got nothing!" Shut up, already.
Director Louis Leterrier, of two "Transporter" films, is new to the series, but can't seem to come up with anything new to shoot. That's why "Fast X" comes off like a greatest hits package so abbreviated that nothing resonates.
The A-list cast, notably Oscar winners Helen Mirren, Charlize Theron, Brie Larson and Rita Moreno, are in and out, though Theron and Rodriguez do have one kickass fight scene.
Otherwise, nearly everyone who has ever appeared in a "Fast" film makes a quickie cameo. Look, there's Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Ludacris), and Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel) as pawns in Dante's plot to set up Dom and his crew as terrorists.
Others like Jason Statham, John Cena, Sung Kang and Jordana Brewster come and go so fast that they should be furious. Pete Davidson is also in there somewhere for whatever reason.
Jamming in everything would be more forgivable if the 10th time around was meant to be a fond farewell. Hell, no. Studios don't willingly kill a golden goose. Intended as the first half of a two-part franchise finale, plans now are to stretch it into a trilogy, and "Fast X" ends with a cliffhanger instead of a victory lap -- proving that you really can have too much of a good thing.
