Mandy Moore on her ex-husband Ryan Adams: 'I was lonely with him'
Mandy Moore recently spoke about her marriage to ex-husband and singer-songwriter Ryan Adams on a podcast episode with WTF With Marc Maron.
The singer, who was married to Adams for seven years, spoke about his alleged emotional abuse and where she feels their relationship went wrong.
This marks the second time the actress and singer has spoken about her ex's alleged emotionally abusive behavior. She previously opened up to The New York Times in their report on Adams' alleged sexual misconduct and emotional manipulation that was published last week.
Adams' attorney denied accusations in the Times story, and Adams also issued a series of statements on Twitter denying the report.
"I was living my life for him," Moore said during the podcast, to host Marc Maron. "It [was] an entirely unhealthy dynamic. Oh, I had no sense of self. I was imperceptible, I was so small in my own world."
She said that the moment she realized she had to "get out" was when she felt like she was "drowning."
"It was so untenable and unsustainable, and I was so lonely. I was so sad," she shared. "I was lonely with him.. I knew that this wasn’t the rest of my life. I knew that this wasn’t the person I was supposed to be with. I knew that I wasn’t the person I was meant to be."
She said she felt she often put Adams before herself, stating that Adams "made me feel worthy, it made me feel like I had value if I could be there for somebody else and serve their needs.”
I knew that this wasn’t the person I was supposed to be with. I knew that I wasn’t the person I was meant to be.
"I think it -- not to go down a rabbit hole with, like, therapy -- but I think it goes back to feeling undeserving of what I've had in my life as a young person and finding success," she continued.
"I think there was part of me that was like, 'Well, this part of my life, I'm OK to not live for myself right now. I've had enough of that,'" she added.
Moore said that she came from a difficult family situation and she hoped to bring stability to her own marriage and family life.
"I think my co-dependency fed into his co-dependency and some other underlying issues that it was the perfect cacophony of madness," she said. "I was so not serving myself."
She also opened up about how unhealthy she felt their home life was.
"I would try to fight back, but I hate confrontation," she said about their breakup. "It just was a lot of endless conversations, conversations in a loop, crying, all of that for months and months and months."
Moore is one of the many women interviewed for The New York Times piece who spoke out about Adams' alleged inappropriate behavior.
It was so untenable and unsustainable, and I was so lonely. I was so sad.
"He would always tell me, 'You’re not a real musician, because you don’t play an instrument,'" Moore told The New York Times.
"His controlling behavior essentially did block my ability to make new connections in the industry during a very pivotal and potentially lucrative time -- my entire mid-to-late 20s,” she added.
Adams is also accused of knowingly exposing himself and having inappropriate conversations with an underage woman, along with having a "pattern of manipulative behavior" towards many female artists.
The FBI is reportedly looking into Adams communication with the underage women after the release of the report, according to The New York Times.
ABC News has reached out to representatives of Ryan Adams and will update if we hear back.
