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October 18, 2023

Dad's video about childrearing and sharing responsibilities goes viral

WATCH: Dad's video about sharing household responsibilities with spouse goes viral
By Yi-Jin Yu

A Texas father's social media post about not helping his spouse with household chores and childrearing has gone viral -- but not for the reason you think.

"I don't help my wife cook. I don't help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids, none of that," J.R. Minton says in his video.

Once he has hooked the viewer in, Minton, a father of four, then changes his tune and shares a perspective he told "Good Morning America" he has come to embrace.

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"Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband," Minton continues in the video. "I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can't help my wife do those things because they are my job too."

"Change the way you speak. Change the way you think and grow the f--- up and be a man," he adds.

Courtesy of J.R. Minton
J.R. Minton, a father of four, said he wanted to post on social media about stay-at-home moms and the invisible work they handle because it's a topic he has thought about often, especially as a parent who works outside the home.

Minton told "GMA" that in the past, he was guilty of thinking that participating in parenting and household duties was a form of assistance for his partner.

"I used to say the exact same words. I had the exact same thoughts," he said.

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He said when he gradually realized the impact of the language he was using, both on himself and his wife and family, he decided to change the way he saw his responsibilities.

Courtesy of J.R. Minton
J.R. Minton and his wife Brittany Minton are parents of four children between the ages of 1 and 7.

"I started to change my own ideology on parenting, on marriage because I just tried to change the words that I was saying," the father of four explained. "[I] just tried to say, 'OK, I'm not helping, I'm doing. I'm not doing anything for you. I'm just doing it for the family.'"

Minton said he wanted to share his video, which has now been viewed over 7 million times on TikTok, to raise awareness about how common this line of thinking is among fellow parents, and suggested others reframe how these obligations are viewed.

"It seems like a lot of the domestic labor is put onto whoever the stay-at-home parent is, which is usually the stay-at-home mom, and so I was thinking about, 'What's a way that I can put this video that would really put into perspective that it's not just her job?'" he said. "I haven't seen a message quite like it anywhere else put in that specific way, so I wanted to share it in my own way."

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His message to other fathers is to remember what a partnership means and how language and communication can make a big difference.

"When you're in a partnership with your spouse, it's not help," Minton said. "Everything is a shared responsibility in the house when it comes to taking care of each other's needs, the children's needs, especially the needs of the home."

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