If all you want out of a movie is eyeballing two mega-stars showing off their swoony hotness and eagerness to make you smile, you could do way worse than "Wolfs," now in theaters. Sure, this glittery package will hit AppleTV+ just a week later on Sept. 27 but sometimes it takes a big screen to really appreciate the alpha-male pow of George Clooney and Brad Pitt.
You might forget the plot two minutes after exiting the theater (I'm checking my notes right now), but the AARP-eligible Clooney, 63, and Pitt, 60, will stick with you, such is the pleasure of their company, even as their characters require glasses and a fast fix for their aching backs.
Unnamed for maximum mystery, Clooney and Pitt both play fixers who cover up the dirty deeds of fat-cat clients. And they work alone.
But not this time. Lone wolf Clooney arrives first on the scene at a Manhattan penthouse hotel suite, where his on-the-edge client Margaret (Amy Ryan), a local district attorney, has summoned him to do something about the unconscious body of a semi-naked young stud (Austin Abrams) who is lying at the foot of the bed surrounded by shattered glass.
Clooney had a similar role in 2007's "Michael Clayton," a moral thriller that won him an Oscar nomination. I'd argue he should have won, except Daniel Day Lewis was undeniable in "There Will Be Blood." Anyway, "Wolfs" isn't about awards, it's a fun throwaway caper that allows Clooney and Pitt to play fast and loose like they did in "Ocean's 11" and its two smash sequels.
MORE: 'Hillbilly Elegy review: A missed opportunity featuring a 'sensational' Glenn ClosePitt shows up on Clooney's heels, sent by the phone voice of the unseen Pam, who owns the hotel and doesn't want a scandal tainting her joint's hoity-toity reputation. As written and directed by Jon Watts (who directed all three of the Tom Holland "Spider-Man" epics), "Wolfs" is really all about Clooney and Pitt one-upping each other in word and action.
"There's nobody who can do what I do," Clooney brags, only to have Pitt say the same thing a minute later. And so begins a bickering bromance that's complicated by the fact that the naked kid is still alive and in possession of a backpack stuffed with drugs stolen from Albanian mobsters.
MORE: 'The Midnight Sky' review: George Clooney's film finds its heart in its actorsAnd they're off on a nighttime tour of the Big Apple -- evocatively shot by Larkin Seiple -- that takes them from Chinatown to Brighton Beach with a stop at a Croatian wedding. Don't ask. Just let the laughs wash over you.
At one point, the kid tells his captors, "You've got the same clothes, you talk the same, you're basically the same guy." He doesn't mention the same gray stubble. But Clooney and Pitt are pros who know how to use their magnetic star presence to cut through the noise when the jokes grow repetitive and action gives way to the formula playbook.
No matter. A sequel has already been earmarked if fans demand it. And they just might. I can picture a future "Wolfs" with Clooney and Pitt solving crimes in an assisted living facility while complaining about their soup getting cold. Their kind of cool is ageless.